Ion's Blood Type

Not too many things really, really make me mad. People not using their blinkers pisses me off. I hate paying attention, and it sucks when you have to drive, watch for idiots, maintain the speed limit, observe warning signs, take detours AND be a freaking mind reader. However, I am not here tonight to preach about blinkers.

The number one thing that makes me mad is Dumbasses. The other day at work, my brother couldn't remember the symbol for female, so he asked me. I drew it for him, and the Office Manager, we'll call her Dumbassarina to protect her identity asked, "What on earth is that???" I said I couldn't believe she didn't know. (Of course, she didn't know what the word lieu meant or how it was pronounced. Or facade... actually, countless others.) She also insists on calling my client Ian, Ion. Ion?? Seriously, how dumb can you be? So I asked her if she'd ever seen

_E=mc2

She said, "What on earth is that?"

I can seriously understand someone not knowing exactly what that stands for; but c'mon, every cartoon I've ever watched has had that equation in there somewhere. How could you live 30 years without having seen this?

I told her that it was Ion's blood type.

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The Old Grey Goose is Dead...

A few weeks ago, I totaled my beautiful, new, fully-loaded sports car. Needless to say, I have a bit of negative equity, so I took my Pop up on his offer of a free, grey 1989 Ford F150 Extended Cab. This truck has been used to haul branches, hay, feed, tools, carcasses, and crap... Literally. It stinks, it's ugly, and it's hard as hell to drive. When I was a kid, I used to sit in his truck (a different one, obviously) and steer the wheel like a maniac. I can do this in The Grey Goose, and it keeps going straight. I've only been driving it for two days, I just turned in my rental. Anyway, I've been nervous and scared, not to mention completely embarrassed driving this monstrous beast in really bad, crazy, lane-switching, finger flicking traffic.

I mentioned to my mother this very day, "Welp, I can finally say that it cannot get any worse." Pffft. I drove my son about 10 minutes away tonight to a friend's house. On the way home, I heard a weird noise. The same exact sound a goose makes. I turned off the radio, and listened. The noise wouldn't stop so I turned up the radio to drown it out. Proceed to the stop light... The noise continues, and it has now invited a guest, SMOKE. It smelled like my AbraCURLdabra I had when I was a kid when I left it on too long. As I am remembering about my old curling iron, the steering starts lurching hard to the left.

I was afraid I would be arrested, jailed and sentenced to death for drunk driving, even though I don't drink so I tried to hurry, the truck would not accelerate. Just when I get up to about 30 mph, I apply the brakes and NOTHING happens, so I pump them and slam them to the floor. I slow down enough to turn left into my apartment complex. There is no where to park. Smoke is now choking me. I think it's choking the goose, too, because of the horrific sound it is making. I found a spot, parked, turned it off, and shut the door. The sound didn't stop!! The smoke got worse. So I got my purse, my McNasty burger and walked home. I didn't look back once. I don't hear the fire trucks, so it must be okay. And so what if it's not?

August Be Damned

August sucks. What a disastrous month... I can't wait for September. Of course, in Austin, it will be little relief from the heat. I remember it was cold in September when I was younger.

I went to East Texas this weekend. What a wonderful day it was. I went to our family ranch, Stardust. No one lives there now, but it is a beautiful home in the Piney Woods. The house is mostly glass, so it's amazing to sit in the middle of the forest and absorb all the beauty of the "wilderness." A storm had just passed through, we lit candles and played Blue October, and watched the lightning light up the trees almost continuously. I didn't realize how much I missed home. I didn't get to stay too long, though. I don't know when I'll get back again, but I hope it's soon. It was the first time I felt peaceful in over a year. Next week is my birthday, AND it's a long weekend, so I took vacation 2nd-7th. Maybe I'll go back then. Just relax and live off the fat of the land.

Sweet Heat

Most of the time, the hot, Texas heat just about kills me. But today I liked it. I was mad all day long. I don't even have a good reason, really. Danny and I went to eat at Maudie's, which was a nice change. We also watched Secret Window. I think the cinematography was excellent. Other than that, I wasn't blown away at all. The story was dull. I expected more. I always expect more.

I remember when I got my first Hungry, Hungry Hippo game when I was 4 or 5, I was furious that the hippos weren't animated like they were on television. I'm still mad about it. Talk about a reality check... Reality really does bite.

Anyway, I sat in the hot car waiting for Danny to make his rounds at a friend's house who's out of the country right now. The sun was shining in the windows and burning my skin, and I was glad. I even leaned into the sun, and it felt good. Maybe because the temperature outside matched my temperature inside.

Well, tomorrow's Monday, and it's back to the daily grind. It's exactly what I need.

Chasing waterfalls...

I haven't used the internet for personal entertainment in five years. I get enough of it at work. By the end of the day, I usually don't even want to look at a computer. This is part of the reason I cannot finish the book I've been writing for years. Anyway, I discovered blog a few months ago, and occasionally, browsed other people's blogs. I bet I'm the first person in history to admit that. Anyway, (AGAIN) I see all of these blogs dedicated to everything you can think of. Someone sat for hours finding and arranging a billion things about one particular thing. Some people I noticed had obsessions with multiple things. I envy that. There is nothing that is so spectacular to me that I care to see more than two web pages about. I started browsing more recently to see if I could get excited about anything. I can't. Even filling out the profile here was hard. What are my interests? Pretty much breathing, driving to work, working, coming home, thinking about work, sleeping. Waking up... What kind of life is that? What are my favorite bands? Hmm. I was grasping at straws. There is no one I want to see in concert. I like football, but I haven't watched it in three or four years. What are my favorite movies? Oh good grief... I've seen a thousand movies, and none of them really stand out in my mind except the last three I've seen, and they weren't necessarily my favorites. When Danny asks me where I want to go and eat, I have no idea. What's my favorite food? Hell, I don't know. Mexican? Is it really? I honestly don't know. Maybe it's some sort of condition. I'm interested in a lot of things, I don't know what they are until I see them, and I don't remember them afterward, usually. I decided that I absolutely must have some sort of mission in life that is non-work-related. The thought process began. What do I like? I like pickles. There's not really anything pickle-related that I can think of that would be worth investing time in. Where do I want to visit? I couldn't think of one place. Danny always knows where he wants to go and is adamant about it. How come I can't think of anywhere? So after a long time of wondering, pondering, and stuttering, I decided that I'm going to visit waterfalls. I'm going to try to see as many as I can. I want to visit my first one before the end of the year. Ahhh. Motivation. If anyone knows of a waterfall, please let me know.

I can't seem to get motivated to accomplish very much at home lately. I constantly strive for more, more, more at work, but by the time I get home, my mind is numb. I am in career mode, and I keep barreling forward and seldom look back. In my personal life I'm almost lethargic these days. It isn't my style, and it's beginning to get to me. I do have some obstacles, I'm in a dead-end relationship with a perfectly tolerable man. It isn't going to last, and I'm not ready to bid that final adieu. I just had a car accident and am awaiting the decision of the Almighty Adjuster.

Tomorrow is Sunday, I wonder what I can accomplish then? Will I work on my book? Will I balance my checkbook? Will I watch those movies I rented a week ago? In my mind, I keep thinking I should go to work to get a jump on the week. And you know what? I probably will. Why couldn't I have been a pirate?